Chuckles of the Day





Drinking Again

An Irishman had been drinking at a pub all night. The bartender finally said that the bar is closing. So the Irishman stood up to leave and fell flat on his face. He tried to stand one more time; same result. He figured he’d crawl outside and get some fresh air and maybe that would sober him up. Once outside, he stood up and fell on his face again. So he decided to crawl the four blocks home.

When he arrived at the door he stood up and fell flat on his face. He crawled through the door and into his bedroom. When he reached his bed he tried one more time to stand up. This time he managed to pull himself upright, but he quickly fell right into the bed and was sound asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow.

He was awakened the next morning to his wife standing over him shouting, “SO YOU’VE BEEN DRINKING AGAIN!”

Putting on an innocent look, intent on bluffing it out he said, “What makes you say that?”

“The pub just called; you left your wheelchair there again.”

* * * * * * *

A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who never owned a car.

– Carrie Snow

* * * * * * *

Super Bowl

A man received a free ticket to the Super Bowl from his company.

Unfortunately, when he arrived at the stadium he realized the seat was in the last row in the corner of the stadium…….closer to the Goodyear Blimp than the field!

About halfway through the first quarter he notices an empty seat 10 rows off the field right on the 50 yard line. He decides to take a chance and makes his way through the stadium around the security guards to the empty seat.

As he sits down, he asks the gentleman sitting next to him, “Excuse me, is anyone sitting here?”

The man replies “No”.

“This is incredible!” Who in their right mind would have a seat like this at the Super Bowl and not use it?”

The man replies, “Well, actually, the seat belongs to me, I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first Super Bowl we haven’t been together since we got married in 1967.”

“That’s terribly sad. But still, couldn’t you find someone to take the seat? A relative or close friend?”

“No,” the man replied, “They’re all at the funeral.”




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