Sunday Funnies

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Three Cooks

Three cooks, one from Kentucky, one from California and one from Oregon were sitting on a park bench passing the time. Suddenly, the cook from Kentucky reaches under the bench and drags out a new bottle of bourbon, takes a big swig, tosses the bottle into the air and shoots it with a pistol.

“What did you do that for?” asks the cook from California.

“We got lots of bourbon in Kentucky,” was the reply.

Next the cook from California takes out a bottle of fine wine, takes a huge swig, throws the bottle into the air and shoots it with a pistol.

“What did you do that for?” asks the cook from Oregon.

“We got lots of wine in California,” was the reply.

The cook from Oregon takes out a bottle of Henry’s Private Reserve beer, takes a humongous swig and shoots the cook from California.

“What did you do that for?” asks the cook from Kentucky.

“We got lots of Californians in Oregon,” was the reply.

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Food

Customer: “Waiter, is this a lamb chop or a pork chop?”

Waiter: “Can’t you tell by the taste?”

Customer: “No, I can’t.”

Waiter: “Then what does it matter?”

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Got Nuts

A woman walks into a grocery store and asks the stock boy if he has any nuts.

The says, “No, ma’am.”

She says, “Well, do you have any

He replies, “Ma’am, if I don’t have nuts, do you really expect me to have dates?”